The Peanut M&M Thing

The other day, I bought a bag of Peanut M&M’s from a vending machine. As soon as it came out of the chute and I held it, I knew something was wrong. The bag smelled like bourbon and cigarette smoke. It was bad — like it had just come back from an all-night poker game.

When I opened it, the inside was no better. It was clear to me that this was no longer Peanut M&M’s as I knew them. They had transformed into something else entirely. This experience got me thinking: when something changes its essence, does it change how we relate to it?

This idea applies to more than just a bag of candy. If something in life that we’ve relied on — a job, a friendship, or any other kind of relationship — fundamentally changes, how do we respond?

That doesn’t necessarily mean we need to discard it, but it’s worth taking the time to evaluate. Is the change temporary or permanent? Does the new version still meet our needs or align with our values? These are important questions to ask as we navigate the shifts in our lives.

For leaders, the same principle applies when people, teams, or organizations evolve. Here are three ways to approach those changes thoughtfully:

• Recognize When the Core Has Shifted: Pay attention to when a team, project, or person no longer operates as they once did. Naming the change early allows you to respond intentionally instead of reacting out of frustration or nostalgia.
• Revisit Alignment: When something changes, ask whether it still supports your larger goals and values. Leaders who regularly check for alignment between purpose and practice are better equipped to guide their teams through transitions.
• Consider Renewal Before Replacement: Not every change means something is “spoiled.” Sometimes the essence just needs renewal. Ask, “Can this be restored, refreshed, or repurposed?” before deciding to move on.

Great leaders know that change is inevitable—but how they notice, assess, and respond to it determines whether they lead with wisdom or simply react.