Making it Official

In the wonderful book Benediction by Kent Haruf, there’s a scene where a young couple shows up at a pastor’s office and asks if he can marry them on the spot. He asks to see their marriage certificate, which they produce, and he says:

“In Colorado, you don’t need someone to officiate. You can just agree that you want to be married and take this to the courthouse.”

And they say, “Well… we kind of want to make it official. We want a pastor there.”

It reminded me how important it is, in major life events and meaningful moments, to have someone witness it. That act of witnessing helps make it feel real — like it actually happened.

So, the next time you’re invited to a wedding, a graduation, or some other milestone event for someone close to you, remember this: even if you’re not the one facilitating the moment, your presence can help make it more official — and even more special.

This idea applies not only to personal life but also to leadership. Being a witness to others’ important moments — even small wins or growth milestones — matters.

How Leaders Can Put This Into Practice

Here are three ways leaders can bring the power of presence and witnessing into their professional lives:

• Celebrate Milestones Publicly
  Don’t just acknowledge achievements in private emails. Take time during team meetings to name and celebrate important moments — a promotion, project completion, or a first-time accomplishment. This signals to others that their work matters and is seen.
• Be Present During Growth Moments
  When someone on your team steps up, stretches their skills, or takes on a new challenge, make the effort to show up. Your presence — even as an observer — reinforces the significance of the moment and builds confidence.
• Create Rituals of Recognition
  Whether it’s a monthly “shout-out” roundup or a simple end-of-week reflection, having small rituals of noticing and naming success helps foster a culture where people feel their progress is not only tracked but witnessed and appreciated.