Getting What You Give

I recently walked by a training room in a building I was visiting, and I noticed something that really stuck with me.

The first time I passed, there was a trainer—or facilitator—standing at the front of the room with his arms crossed, looking pretty stern. The participants were sitting back in their chairs, some looking at their phones, clearly disengaged from what was happening.

Later, when I passed by again, there was a different facilitator. This one was actively engaging with the group—smiling, talking, and interacting. You could see people leaning forward, paying attention. There was a totally different energy in the room.

It reminded me that we get what we give in so many of our human interactions. The way we approach people often sets the stage for what happens next.

If we bring good energy and make a genuine effort to connect with others, people notice—and they respond in kind. On the flip side, if we stand with our arms crossed, looking disconnected or disinterested, we shouldn’t be surprised when people reflect that same energy back to us.

So, how can leaders apply this idea to be more effective in professional settings? Here are three quick tips:

• Lead with open body language – Your posture and facial expressions speak volumes. Stand or sit in an open, approachable way, and maintain good eye contact to show you’re present and engaged.
• Be intentional about your energy – Before you walk into a room or start a meeting, take a moment to check in with yourself. What energy do you want to bring? People pick up on your vibe instantly.
• Engage first to engage others – Ask questions, smile, and show genuine curiosity. When you engage with people, they’re much more likely to engage back, making for better conversations and stronger relationships.