Turning Toward Others

The tremendous relationship expert, John Gottman, has theories and data about why relationships are successful.

One of the concepts he talks about is related to when one person in a couple is looking to get some attention, affection, or something else by beginning a conversation, and the reaction of the other partner could be “turning towards”, which means engaging in that conversation, or “turning away”, which is not engaging, and perhaps mentioning something unrelated to what the person just said.

I think this is a tremendously powerful concept.

In life, when people begin talking to us, they’re looking for more than just idle conversation in most cases, and if we can be mindful of turning towards that conversation, becoming interested in what they’re talking about and why, it can be extremely powerful. There is in some ways nothing more powerful in life than listening intently and with focus and attention to another person.