In the wonderful TV series “The Bear,” which is about a family-run restaurant in Chicago, when a staff member wants to indicate they truly understood what another staff member was saying, they respond by saying the word “heard.” There is something profound to me about letting someone know that you truly got the message. In […]
heard, Listening, the bear
The tremendous relationship expert, John Gottman, has theories and data about why relationships are successful. One of the concepts he talks about is related to when one person in a couple is looking to get some attention, affection, or something else by beginning a conversation, and the reaction of the other partner could be “turning […]
gottman, john gottman, Listen, Listening, turning towards
When a friend or family member calls me and they want to talk about a problem or issue that’s bothering them, I offer three options. One, I tell them I can listen and respond with what I’m really thinking. Two, I can listen and just give them positive feedback. And three, I can just listen. […]
active listening, Listen, Listening
If you reflect on who the friends are that you have, that you feel most close to, I bet that they are people who listen well. And that just tends to be the case because we feel more connected to people who really listen to us, but what do you do when you have a […]
Friend, Listen, Listening, listening skills
When I was a kid, there was a cartoon called,” The Hillbilly Bears”, and one of the bear’s grandpas would mumble and grumble when he started talking and you couldn’t really make out what he was saying until the last few words. Sometimes, in life, it can feel like people don’t catch the first few […]
Listening, listening skills, The Hillbilly Bears, tips
In his excellent book Listening with the Third Ear, the analyst Theodor Reik makes the point that sometimes people who seem to be seeking advice or actually looking for permission to do something they’ve already decided to do. You will know that’s happening when someone who comes to you with advice already has a solution, […]
Communication, Listening
Mark Twain said,” There are two kinds of people in the world: one kind separates people into two kinds of people and the other kind doesn’t.” I’m definitely the kind that separates people into two kinds of people. I think there’s people who listen to respond or reply, and the other kind who listen to […]
effective listening, focused, Listening
In the 2008 movie “Get Smart,” the agent and spy Maxwell Smart, Agent 86, is a bungling but well-meaning spy (who usually gets things done actually), employed by the spy agency “Control.” It’s based on a TV sitcom that started in 1965 and ran for a few years on the television. In the movie, as […]
coneofsilence, Focus, Listening
I don’t know if you’re one of those people who, when you see something in your everyday environment like a product label or bill board or anything, might take that as a personal message and find some meaning in it. I am one of those people. I don’t know what that says about me. And […]
Listening, Messages, observant
When you are in a leadership role, you are frequently in the position of giving other people critical feedback. And in criticism, as in comedy, timing is everything. When you’re giving constructive feedback (including positive feedback, although I’m focusing on constructive criticism below), try to give that feedback as soon as possible. Here’s why: The […]
Coaching, constructive feedback, Feedback, Listening